Being Genuinely Yourself/Authentic
What is Authenticity?
To me, authenticity is about expressing who you truly are and who you were truly meant to be. It’s about showing your true colors and not worrying about if you ‘fit in’ with the crowd. It’s about being your own version of crazy and beautiful. You have to be really self aware to be genuinely authentic and you have to learn to shut out the “noise” of people’s opinions, media, social media, and your inner mean girl.
When you’re not authentic
When you’re not genuinely authentic, you run the risk of an unfulfilling life. Your relationships may break down as people start to find out to YOU really are. You risk missing out on opportunities that might only be available for you if you were authentic. You could risk your job or your business by misrepresentation. Always be true to who you are. Don’t present yourself as someone you aren’t.
Media and Social Media are killing authenticity
Our current generation and the generations before and behind us are being diluted with people who are trying to live up to impossible standards. Media is telling women that they HAVE to be a certain size in order to maintain perfection…and this simply isn’t true. Not all bodies were built to be a size 2! (I mean c’mon, some of us like beer and tacos damn it!) Women struggle to lead an authentic lifestyle because they are so focused on achieving perfection and not on enjoying the life before you! Sure, take care of yourself, lose the weight that you NEED to lose…but sometimes it’s okay to put the dumbell down and go to Olive Garden and indulge in pasta and wine with your girlfriends! You only life once!
Another way social media is killing authenticity are facebook and instagram timelines. How many times to you look at that certain woman’s profile and envy her immaculate house, perfect children, stellar mothering techniques, travel destinations, and perfect marriage? Nine times out of ten this is an illusion. An illusion we are all struggling to achieve. In reality that woman probably cleaned up that AREA of her house to take that photos. She doesn’t show the ABSOLUTE FIT Junior threw in the aisle of Target that made her abandon her cart and leave the store. She doesn’t show when she CRIED because her baby wouldn’t sleep and she tried every trick in the book. She doesn’t talk about the potential debt her family vacations cost them. And her marriage? It very well could be in shambles. But we see ALL the postives and we subscribe to those as an honestly unattainable perfection to strive for. Very few show the messy and the real. And we NEED that. We NEED to know we aren’t alone and that there are women out there JUST. LIKE. US.
Everyone has a different story to tell. They’re beautiful, and messy, and magical, and sad. But they’re ours and the good and the bad deserves to be told. It’s releasing. It’s freeing.
Authenticity in Relationships
Start every relationship, friendships and romantic relationships off on the right foot. By genuinely being yourself. You can’t have an authentic relationship with someone without being authentically yourself.
In romantic relationships start by not presenting yourself as anyone you’re not. Don’t be who you imagine you are. Don’t be who you think they want. Because everything you try so hard to do now, will slip and your facade will fall. Your true traits will come out and that will be a disappointment for you both. People are looking for specific things in relationships and if you don’t fit the qualifications, please don’t make yourself try to fit. It won’t work. It’s easier to end at the beginning and be disappointed than end later when feelings, and possibly children are involved and ends in heartache.
In friendships, do NOT try to ‘fit in’. We aren’t all meant to fit in everywhere. The friends who truly love you will love you for exactly who you are. Not who you try to be. So be your cucky, crazy, wild self and attract your genuine tribe. Find those things you love to do and DO THEM. That’s were you’ll meet people with common ground who will embrace you and give you genuine friendships!
How to develop your own authenticity
Observe yourself and ask questions
Are you different around one group of people than another? Why? Do you feel more comfortable interacting with certain groups? Why do you feel the need to sacrifice your authenticity for others?
Examine your values and beliefs
Your values and beliefs are the CORE of your authenticity. They are truly what makes you unique. And they’re YOURS. Don’t ever sacrifice them to fit in with others. Those are NOT your people.
Face your fears and your anxieties
Your fears and anxiety tell you a lot about who you don’t want to be. Or who you do. Why are you afraid? What’s giving you anxiety? Can it be narrowed down to trying to please other people and meet other’s expectations?
Develop genuine self love
I cannot stress this enough! If you don’t truely have INTERNAL love for yourself and embrace every part of who you are, you’re going to seek this externally You’ll always look for compliments, for people to tell you that you’re beautiful, or that you’re great at something. You’ll always need that external validation…but here’s the catch. It won’t mean ANYTHING without your own self love. So it’s just going to be a vicious cycle of seeking validation, the need to fit in, and being who you are NOT because you don’t genuinely love and accept yourself. So. Make a list of everything you hate about yourself and think of something positive to attribute to it. Every time that inner mean girl creeps in to tell you to hate yourself, flip it to a self love statement.
We need all kinds
Everyone is needed. Everyone is different and has different stories to tell. And that’s BEAUTIFUL!!! So, so beautiful! Don’t stuff your authenticity down and try to be someone you’re not! Share your shine, ladies! <3
Be outrageously, genuinely, authentically YOU